|
* * *
What I often feel when feeling wonder is Love. I often sense this in the presence of another, be it human or nonhuman. I rarely speak of this to the other. I simply admire silently that they are so much more than what they appear to be and what they think themselves to be. This is the beauty within myself admiring the beauty within the other, one beauty, one hymn of praise ~ nothing need be said, for Silence speaks. And, if one feels this wonder of the other ~ which arises essence with essence, not as to personality ~ , he or she might struggle to learn how to relate with it, as it cannot usually find an outlet to express to anyone in words. Yet, one can relax into this and feel the Loving recognition and admiration quietly. I have found persons have only a certain capacity to receive this kind of intimacy, and one learns how better to honor that over time. Part of the aloneness of the sagacious life is that one feels so much he or she cannot share. Yet, also, for those who trust in the Source, seeing we are expressions of it, praise for the beauty in the other can be expressed in devotional worship, for one sees all wonder arises from the Being within whom all beings find glory.
* * *
My view now is if one cannot recognize the wonder of now, he or she would not later, such as in a heaven. Simply put: We see wonder, when wonder is within us. Wonder is a resonating between what is met that inspires wonder and our own soul-expression, or essence. In this meeting, this intimacy, a transaction occurs, a living movement. In the first living moment, the object loses its objectivity; only pure seeing happens in this dissolving. Then, out of this pure subjectivity arises the subject-object relating. The, for example, pure seeing of the wonder of a rose becomes something we recognize and name "rose." In this transition the perfume of the first moment remains, but loses the freshness and intensity of the pure meeting.
The wonder of which we speak, this is not merely the wonder abiding in an object; rather, the wonder is meeting its likeness in pure subjectivity. Wonder recognizes itself, and as a quality of Presence. Wonder diminishes if we try to capture the moment or if we retreat from the power of it.
Wonder can feel warm and inviting or be sensed as over-powering. Wonder can seem threatening, for wonder diminishes the influence of the ego.
This wonder, like Silence, will have different qualities. One may sense the wonder of walking through a nature path in the wood different from kneeling in prayer at the sanctuary. The wonder of sitting with others in a weekly time of Silence may may be different than the wonder arising in sharing love-making with a beloved or enjoying time in conversation over coffee with a friend.
* * *
One means to enjoy and acclimate to embodying this wonder is to stop, remain silent, close the eyes. Closing the eyes stops additional incoming intensity through sight. Feel the feeling of this wonder bodily. Soak in the wonder. Let yourself enjoy the wonder, rather than try to intellectualize about it.
Another means for this enjoyment of and acclimation to wonder is as follows. Be still, be silent. Relax the eyes and body. Look upon the object that elicited wonder, while not concentrating on it. Rather, let the object become part of the overall environment. One can sense an expanding and relaxing of consciousness. The object relaxes as you relax. The object is there, but loses its separation as object from the overall context, including you. Here one is not trying to maintain the first moment of intensity, rather to allow wonder to open to open awareness. Wonder is never meant to be an end, but an opening, a welcome, an invitation from and to Presence. So, this an important reminder: Wonder is an experience, passing, a quality of that Presence that is timeless and, so, not passing, not an experience. One is not to clutch to wonder, but enjoy it as experience, as impermanent, as a gift coming and going.
Continued... |
